For those of you who know me I am not one to sit idle. Since moving to Chicago for school I have become a part of and done things I never would have guessed that I would do. From becoming President of my class to planning events for all shorts of different occasions its crazy looking at where I have come. Long gone is the homeschooled kid who was in band. Instead you have the college kid who is overrun with opportunity. You see being in Chicago provides it’s own opportunities, being a Moody student provides a whole other set of opportunities, and then the positions God has put me in has provided with even more things. Basically it can be overwhelming, however it is great to be able to see how God is providing and shaping me.
You see I have no idea where my life is going. What I do know is that God is going to prepare me for it in some way, shape, or form. So I view these opportunities not as my successes but as my future. Who am I to become one who thinks of himself above others, I am 19 years old. Who am I to do anything? That doesn’t stop me though; when it comes to preparing for ministry I am going to do whatever it takes to be as ready as I can be. You see you never quite know when God is going to use you.
Take today for example; it started off just the same as any other day. With the exception that I am running around preparing for the John Mark McMillan concert I am planning with Moody Campus Radio for this coming Saturday (April 20th). One part of all this running around getting ready is that I sit (yes, I realize the irony) at a booth selling tickets in a common area on campus, that is open to the public. Now because ticket sales aren’t doing so well I actually skipped chapel in hopes to sell more tickets. (Yes, I know I am a heathen). I see now that God had much more in store for me today then waking up to do concert things and homework.
You see as I was sitting at the booth today a man about my age walked in and asked if someone was available to talk to him or pray with him. I panicked, am I ready to be there for some stranger? Am I equipped to council him when I myself can’t even hold everything together all the time? Then again how could I not? So I went over and sat down with him. Praying in my head that God would provide me with the wisdom of what to say to this gentleman. He proceed to tell me about how sometimes he gets anxiety attacks and explain some information to me about what was going. How he had thought about how easy it would be to end it all. I listened while in my mind having my own anxiety attack. Then when it came time for me to talk I felt a peace come about me. I said things that came to my mind, quoted scripture, and just was there for him. I assured him God loves him, prayed for him, and then confided in him that at times I to am unsure what to do. Then we talked about God’s will, he asked me how I am sure I am doing what God wants me to do. We chatted for a little bit more, exchanged information and he left.
I went back to the booth that I was working at and jumped right back into work. Talking to the manager of John Mark’s band, talking to people about running ads in the Moody Standard. Then after that what needed to be done was done I stopped. (Which went a lot smoother thanks to the help of a good friend, I couldn’t have done it without this person). I proceeded to think about what God was doing, why I met this man, and why even now I can’t stop being concerned for him.
Who am I to do anything? Well I’ll tell you who I am. I am exactly who God wants me to be. I may not know what God wants from me in the future but I know that he has put me here in this moment and that is exactly where he wants me to be. So I am going to continue to be me and give my all to now.
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” (Matthew 6:25-34)